I have a lot to say, a lot to transmit. And what follows is a deeply personal account of the spiritual and emotional work 30 brave souls and I experienced on our first Alchemy (aka embodied manifesting) retreat in Costa Rica.
But before I dive in, here’s WHY I’m sharing this now. This retreat inspired the birth of something new– something so deliciously intimate, so daringly impactful, so deeply magical that it’s the thing I’m more excited about than any other in my entire career.
The room was dark. Lit only by candles. I struck the singing bowl and began an invocation, an invitation. Creating a container of safety and inviting in our guides, not only for protection but also allowing them to experience all 88 keys of the human emotional piano.
I love the idea that the full emotional spectrum available to humans is a uniquely coveted experience among non-humans. I love believing that the divine beings need us as much as we need them. Apparently, it is very rare to have the ability for such simultaneity. Imagine being another species and not having the ability to experience agony and ecstasy in the same day? Or the unique frequency that is finding ecstasy in the agony?
So in this candlelit room, sitting in the center of a 36-person circle in the “Center of Joy” in Costa Rica, we embarked on a journey that left every one of us indelibly changed. I invited in our guides, our ancestors and any benevolent divine beings. Not just for protection, but to experience the rare and stunning beauty that happens when people feel safe, are willing to play full out, and be vulnerable all at the same time.
What followed was unlike anything I have ever witnessed.
It was like ayahuasca without the puking, MDMA without the come down and a sacred sexuality retreat without the nudity.
It was only 1 hour of the 4 day retreat. But in the wise words of my partner Adam, “feelings are fast. It’s the story that takes a long time to rewrite.”
We started breathing. In in out. In in out. In in out. Our diaphragms dancing to the beat of my carefully crafted playlist. Our breath and emotions being played by the medicinal music.
At first I could feel the trepidation in the room. The skepticism. The fear of nothing happening. Or too much happening. Then curiosity took the lead. What is on the other side of this fear? What is on the other side of this block? What is on the other side of this discomfort?
And one by one, the healing miracles started happening like popcorn.
One woman erupted into deep laughter. Another released ancient sobbing. One woman sounded like she was giving birth. Then, the woman next to her joined in a wailing chorus.
One man wept silently almost the whole time. Some people had energy orgasms. Some people simply laid there and breathed.
Everyone left changed. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I knew I had the trust of the room and the support I needed to facilitate. It was so moving to watch the gifted guides I had enlisted move from person to person, reminding them that they are safe to feel, that they can come home to themselves. That their love is bigger than any pain. We were there to remind them of their own resilience.
Offering essential oils, grounding touch, whispered guidance. Empathy. Shared tears. Most times people who are grieving or healing don’t need you to DO anything. They simply need to feel held and safe and seen. That is where the true magic happens.
Beforehand, the facilitators and I circled up and offered a quick prayer. That we become that which is needed. That Nature help us to transmute anything that is not pure love back into its original form.
We practiced exactly that. Some healing, loving force was moving through all of us in a way that took us right to our edges, but not past. That cleared blocks and stories that were often many generations old. I kept thinking the room had secretly taken mushrooms or MDMA or aya. But no. This profundity and healing was happening simply using breath, safety, trust and commitment.
At the end when the breathing slowed, we all sang in unison. “Please prepare me. To be a sanctuary. Pure and holy. Tried and true.” We sang it again and again. Creating coherence. Regulating everyone’s nervous system. Reminding them they already have everything they need.
Afterwards, we turned on the lights, sat up and shared WTF just happened to all of us.
An amazing woman in her 50’s said she wept tears for her baby that she lost in a terminated pregnancy when she was 17.
Two woman shared that they grieved the loss of multiple miscarriages.
One woman literally rebirthed herself.
A brave man who wants to be a father said he could feel the presence of his unborn daughter. He felt what it was like “to receive her. To carry her.” He shared that while he doesn’t know what it is like to give birth, he now feels so grateful to have a glimpse of the profundity that is possible while carrying a child. The magic that women are capable of as the matrix point for humanity.
For what it’s worth, this was a straight, white, middle aged man who has never done any sacred sexuality work before and he not only got in touch with his energetic hoohah, he had a visceral experience of carrying his unborn daughter.
This. This is what the crumbling of patriarchy looks like. Not a revolt. Not using the king’s tools to tear down the castle. No. It is giving people the direct, felt experience of the magic of the feminine. This is available to all of us regardless of gender.
The soul has no gender. And when we reconnect with our souls, we all move closer to the divine. There was a man there who is an orthopedic surgeon for the military and an MMA fighter. He said that of all the extreme things he had done in his career, this 4 day dive into ourselves was the most intense and rewarding.
All of this happened in just one hour. We then deepened the work, got to know each other better, carved out space for more joy, bliss and ecstasy than any of us knew possible.
I was blown away by how quickly everyone fell into coherence with each other. How their dreams actually invited them up into a more capable, more powerful, more magnetic version of themselves. It is truly magical what getting clear on your dream can do for you. Your dream will alchemize your weaknesses into strengths. It will mold you into the person you need to be to make the dream a reality.
Every single person left that retreat more embodied, more confident and so much more clear on and committed to their big dream. Not only the dream for themselves, but their role to play in their big dream for the planet. The only feedback I got is that they wanted more, they wanted a way to keep practicing, a way to stay in touch to hold each other accountable and to amplify our collective impact.
I left knowing that I need to hit the gas. It’s go time. For us and the species. That these tools are too powerful and too much fun to keep them hidden any more. After all, it is very clear to me that we are heading for a revolution. The question is, what kind?
I would love to see a revolution that does not require a revolt, but rather a revolution of joy, of service, of collaboration and the bravery it takes to believe in your big dream. It is time to bring these tools to the mainstream in a way that has never been done before. I want to help people see their dream in their head, feel it in their heart and magnetize it with their hoohah.
I am deep at work creating more and more ways to share this work with you. Stay tuned for more.
Here’s to dreaming bigger, creating faster, and feeling better than your current paradigm allows.
Emily
